I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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