I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
