So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
