Christians are straight up FREAKS
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
