there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
