I like to think it a success when the cops are called
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need to align my fucking chakras
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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