I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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