How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
