No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
