At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
