She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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