i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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