I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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