I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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