He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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