i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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