I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it glows. i had to have it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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