Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
