can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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