no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
