She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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