So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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