Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
