he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
