That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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