apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
