dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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