Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
