Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
