She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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