wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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