I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
