:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
