at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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