No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
