Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
