Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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