if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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