im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Michael Bay diarrhea
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
