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jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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