Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
