Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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