I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
