Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
