hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
