You're so nebulous sometimes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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