Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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