There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
