ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
