He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
