That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
