that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
