I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
